so Charlotte Bronte read Emma by Jane Austen and was really interested in this minor character named Jane Fairfax who was poor and would have been a governess had she not married well and then Bronte wrote her own novel exploring the plight of the poor governess who married this guy named Edward Fairfax Rochester in a novel called Jane Eyre and my point is don’t let anyone tell you shit about fanfiction.
Jane Austen: The slowburn writer to end all slowburn writers. Has a mild case of purple prose syndrome. Sets you up to think she’s using a really lame trope or cliche, but then pulls the old BITCH U THOUGHT. Gets in fights with commenters who completely miss the point of her work.
William Shakespeare: Where dick jokes meet feels. Recycles old plots that have been in the fandom for years, but always manages to put a new spin on it. That said, he’s better known for good character writing than good plots. Kind of problematic, but people love him anyway. Laughs at and encourages commenters who completely miss the point of his work.
The Brontë Sisters: Their fics get lots of comments but they never reply. They never leave author notes, either. They share an account, and there are talks of a collab fic coming soon. Write fics for OTPs of questionable healthiness and consent. Only ever write darkfic. Like, REALLY dark. …People are getting kind of worried about them.
Edgar Allan Poe: Also only ever writes darkfic, but at this point, people have moved past being worried about him and have just accepted that he’s weird, he’s morbid, and we love him. Channels his feelings about his ex into his writing. It results in really good stories but everyone’s sort of like, “…Dude.”
Charles Dickens: Trying to set the record for highest wordcount on ao3, and it shows.
Victor Hugo: Currently holds the record for highest wordcount on ao3.
Oscar Wilde: Only ever writes M/M. Has a BAD case of purple prose, but it’s worth it if you manage to get through. His stories are either hilarious or soul-crushing. Or somehow both. People love him but know better than to disagree with him publicly, lest he destroy you with one of his infamous subtweets.
L. Frank Baum: Wrote one really well-loved story that’s among the most famous in the fandom, and it’s literally all he’s known for, and it pisses him off. His popular story became a multichap against his will because it’s the only one of his stories anyone actually reads. He keeps trying to end it so he can work on other things, but always ends up coming back.
Arthur Conan Doyle: Feels L. Frank Baum’s pain. SO much.
James Joyce: Has fascinating ideas, but takes forEVER to get to the point in his stories. Also a stoner, and it shows.
Lousia May Alcott: Writes stories for her unpopular OTP (that’s a NOTP for most of the fandom) and breaks up everyone’s favorite ships, mainly out of spite. Also kills everyone’s favorite characters, less so out of spite.
Mary Shelley: Writes incredible stories, but publishes under her boyfriend’s account because she’s banned from ao3. …Again.
jane austen: this character is going to be the purest, sweetest, prettiest, kindest character i have ever written
jane austen: everybody will love her
jane austen: she is her mother’s favourite
jane austen: a rich, kind, handsome bachelor falls instantly in love with her
jane austen: the heroine looks up to her
jane austen: she has never done anything wrong in her entire life
jane austen: if she has any character flaws at all its that she is TOO much of an absolute sweetheart
jane austen: and i will call her…..
jane austen: jane :-)
2018 its gonna be jane austen levels of self love ONLY
An app that shows you where there’s a young man in possession of a good fortune who must be in want of a wife
On the radar:
Gentleman with 5,000 pounds a year Handsome tragic veteran Dashing officer of good breeding Gentleman with 10,000 pounds a year Liberal-minded heir to a large estate
i’m thinking abt that scene in pride and prejudice (2005) where catherine de bourgh tells collins he can’t sit next to his wife at dinner and now i’m imagining married lizzy and darcy at a dinner party and the host is like “oh mr darcy!!! you can’t sit with your wife!” and he’s just like “please… she’s my only friend”
smh i still can’t believe darcy didn’t realise jane only seemed “"indifferent”“ bc she was shy when he was such an antisocial tower of awkwardness that lizzie straight up thought he hated her until he proposed
Every single friend Darcy has ever had, upon hearing this story: Fitzwilliam have you looked in a mirror lately
Just a reminder that Vincent van Gogh did not eat yellow paint to make himself feel happy, he ate paint, and drank different chemicals because he was suicidal and this is why he was not allowed in his studio while having breakdowns. He also did not paint starry night and his other great works because he was depressed, he painted most of them while he was in recovery and demonstrated his hopefulness and love of the world through this. Most of his great works were painted from his room at a hospital. Van Gogh’s depression should not be glorified. His hope and effort toward a better life, as well as his recovery from depression should be glorified.
interviewer: so, which avenger would valkyrie spoon with?
tessa thompson: wow ive literally not thought about this AT ALL but thor would be the smallest spoon and then like valkyrie would just be snuggled in between carol and thor because obviously carol’s the biggest spoon-
